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Discord Dissertates: Flying Into Idiocy - Transcript
Note: The provided lines are taken directly from the script. It has a near perfect correlation to the video. SpaceGuru5's Text. Disclaimer At the time the audio was recorded, the drama with Smartass Birb was still ongoing. Since this recording, Smartass Birb has come clean and publicly apologized for his actions. This video serves as a documentation of the events that transpired. Please do not treat this situation like it’s still relevant. SpaceGuru5. Hey guys. SpaceGuru5 here, back again to do another commentary. In this commentary, we’re going to be covering Smartass Birb. This person used to go by the username of SuperFunnyBros, as he used to be a commentator within the CC with over 1k subs before taking his account down. He made a video on the 1st of October called “I’m Gay and I’m not Oppressed,” but is he really? Well, strap yourselves in, folks, ‘cuz we’re about to find out. (Intro sequence. The music is a MIDI cover of "Free As a Bird," by the Beatles.This MIDI was made by SpaceGuru5 himself. The song choice is a play on Smartass Birb's username.) Smartass Birb's Text. WARNING The Following video is a discussion on a very sensitive topic. I know not everyone is going to agree with me. I try to be as objective as I can and if I am wrong, we should talk it out. With that said, I am not responsible for indirectly offending you or hurting your feelings while you view this video. Please come to this video with an open mind and I will do the same for you. Links to the sources I cite will be in the description below. Thank you and enjoy the video. SpaceGuru5. Note that Tom mentions that he will try to be as objective as he can. Well, let’s see just how “objective” he can really be. Smartass Birb. Before I start, I should say that I can’t speak for every single gay person out there. I know a couple of friends who had difficulties coming out around parents who are religious as fuck. (Yellow text appears, pausing the video.) SpaceGuru5's Text. Keep this in mind, dear viewers. This will be important later on. ;3 Smartass Birb. Gay people have it far better off now in the western world than they did before. Gay marriage was finally legalized nationwide two years ago. As an openly gay man myself, I can say this: My fellow faggots, the war is over. We won. SpaceGuru5. While it's true that gay people are a bit more socially accepted nowadays than they were two decades ago, the fact remains that we still have a very long way to go. The issue of gay marriage was only one issue out of many that needed to be addressed. There's also remaining issues such as adoption rights, public services, and the denial of transgendered people to join the military. That's just a few of the issues that still need to be addressed, by the way. I wouldn’t say that the war is over, per se, and I wouldn't even really call it a war. That just dehumanizes the cause of gay rights by comparing societal turmoil with total carnage and destruction. Sure, it’s been one hell of a struggle for you guys, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to call it a war. That’s just hyperbolic and ridiculous. And since we’re talking about poor word choice, I also wanna comment on your unironic usage of the word, “faggot.” I get why people try to reclaim old slurs from bygone days, but that doesn’t make any of those efforts any less try-hard or ridiculous. Just the mere idea of a group of people reclaiming a derogatory term as a means of sticking it to the detractors only rubs salt on an already open wound. If you really want this shit to stop, you should focus more on reconciliation than reparation. Otherwise, you’re not any better than the people who oppressed disenfranchised groups of people to begin with. Not to mention, there are still plenty of LGBT people who take great offense to the word, “faggot,” so your usage of it like it’s no big deal makes you look even more foolish and myopic. My advice: Just don’t fucking use that word. Like, ever. Smartass Birb. When I say that the war is over, I don’t mean that it’s over for the entire planet. There are still countries—mainly Islamic—that kill gay people, but instead of us ruthlessly fighting over the rights of gays in Middle Eastern and some African countries, we’re acting like we’re still oppressed here in the United States. SpaceGuru5. Oh boy...that comment about Islamic. That sure brings me joy to the world. Sure, you say, ‘Mainly Islamic’, but that raises the issue called the relative privation fallacy. SpaceGuru5's Text. Relative privation fallacy Comparing one scenario to a worse scenario to prove why it’s not as bad, or even not bad at all. SpaceGuru5. For the uninformed, a relative privation fallacy is basically where you try to compare a current situation to, “Well, it’s not as bad as this situation!” So yeah, the situation in America is pretty bad, but it’s nothing compared to all the killings that are going on in the Middle East. That’s basically what this guy is doing. While it’s true that plenty of discrimination occurs in the Middle East and the Islamic parts of Africa, to act like it’s the only place where such discrimination occurs is blatantly Islamophobic. After all, statements like that unfairly generalize and marginalize a large sector of people who may not necessarily even agree with such discrimination to begin with. Way to expose your bias, Mr. I want to be as objective as possible. If you don’t believe me when I say that he’s Islamophobic, then explain this...and this. Yeah, I fucking thought so. Smartass Birb. Let’s talk about the whole gay wedding cakes issue. SpaceGuru5. (via JonTron clip) Oh boy, here we go. Smartass Birb. When I was in college, I used to believe that private business owners shouldn’t be able to deny gay people their services. But a year or so after I graduated, I now believe the opposite. Private business owners should have the freedom to associate and disassociate with anyone they choose. SpaceGuru5. You know, except when it might be illegal via the Civil Rights Act, but alright. Let’s go ahead and actually say “just for gay people” for now on. Tom, are you absolutely kidding me? You were born as a gay person, and yet here you are basically saying that people have the right to discriminate against people because of something they were born with. Is that understood? Am I getting you right now? ‘Cuz that’s basically what you were just saying, and I don’t wanna misinterpret you in any way, alright? Smartass Birb. But there’s this entitlement mentality when it comes to shopping that happens to anyone, regardless of who they are. “''I'' am the customer! I’m the reason your business stays afloat! The customer is always right, which means I’m always right! So obey me!” (Yellow text appears, pausing the video.) SpaceGuru5's Text. Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve just witnessed a straw man. Outrage at bigotry = Entitlement. That’s what he just insinuated. Smartass Birb. Private services are not a right; they’re a privilege. Therefore, you do not have the right to gay wedding cakes from bakers who don’t want to make it, just like how you don’t have the right to make bakers put homophobic words on a cake. SpaceGuru5. You know, I thought that bakers were hired for the purpose of...you know...baking things. If you asked a baker to make you a cake for your gay wedding and that baker refused, that would go against the whole purpose of their job and could effectively put them out of work. It’s not so much a case of entitlement as much as it is practicing good business. You’re effectively setting forth a straw man to make it look like you have a point here. Sorry, but that kind of argumentation just doesn’t fly in the real world. Also, if you favor privilege to utilize private businesses and facilities, then it doesn’t look like you support any sort of equality at all. If such business practices were allowed to become rampant, then private business owners could pick and choose which kinds of people to provide their services to. Such practices violate Section Two of the Fourth Article of the U.S. Constitution, which states that, “the citizens of each State shall be entitled to all the privileges and immunities of the citizens in the several States.” Good luck operating a functioning business whose practices are unconstitutional. Smartass Birb. What if it was a straight couple being refused a cake by a gay baker? I bet you that the gay baker wouldn’t get arrested for it, because the couple was straight. Everyone must be treated equally under the law. You don’t deserve more rights just because you suck dick. SpaceGuru5. Because, as we all know, only gay couples engage in oral sex. It’s not like straight couples do it, too. How very informed of you to generalize a sexual act to be performed within a specific sector of people, despite the fact that anyone can do it. Did you even think this stuff through before you said it? Also, what do you mean by, “Everyone must be treated equally under the law?” Couldn’t one argue that not everyone is being treated equally, even with the cisgendered, straight white males here? There’s still racism and sexism here, as well as homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, or hell, just anything with a phobia of different groups really. Even with the laws being in place, you can look some of this stuff up on YouTube or go even outside to see this happening, God forbid. Even though that the US is a better place, you’re treating it like it’s the best place to be at, when no, you’re wrong. We can do so much better here than we’re doing right now. Before we continue, I just wanna know this: Tom, what are you trying to get at with the whole analogy of a gay baker refusing to bake a cake for a straight people? If you’re insinuating that straight people don’t deserve fair service, that just further proves your preference for discriminatory business practices. If you’re insinuating that gay bakers don’t have to make cakes for straight couples, that also just proves that you want businesses to be discriminatory. Your analogy was a bit too vague, almost like you just dropped that in there just to give some flak to straight people for no other reason other than because they’re straight. Real subtle there, Tom. Smartass Birb. People can’t refuse service to you without facing jail time, and yet you claim you’re still oppressed. “Well, if private businesses... (Yellow text appears as a MIDI version of "The Entertainer" begins to play.This MIDI was also made by SpaceGuru5. The video keeps playing.) SpaceGuru5's Text. Ok, there’s literally nothing I can add here. Time to fast forward. (The video begins to fast forward as the song continues. More text appears some time later.) SpaceGuru5's Text. Oh my god. He’s still talking. ._. (The video continues fast forwarding as the song continues. More text appears some time later.) SpaceGuru5's Text. Let’s slow it down... >.> (The video returns to normal speed, though the song continues.) Smartass Birb. ...green in your wallet. You don’t need anti-discrimination laws to criminally punish them, because... (A record scratch is heard.) SpaceGuru5. (via King of the Hill clip) My God, are you still TALKING?!? (Yellow text appears in front of SMPTE bars, with a 1 kHz tone playing.) SpaceGuru5's Text. Sorry about that... >.> (Static.SpaceGuru5 made these edits out of boredom.) Smartass Birb. As for the government, public utilities, and public services, however, they don’t have the right to refuse service to anyone because they’re all funded by taxes. Unlike a private business, we’re required to pay the government and their social services regardless, unless the government defunds them. For example, the lady Davis who refused to give marriage licenses to newly wed gay couples because of her religious beliefs was completely in the wrong. She was a government employee, therefore she has no right to refuse anyone regardless of her convictions. SpaceGuru5. Wait a minute. So you say that government employees and public businesses shouldn’t discriminate, yet you think that private businesses should be allowed to discriminate. ...What? You really don’t make any sense here. Do you want fair business, or do you not want fair business? Pick a side, goddammit! No need to be on the fence about this shit! Smartass Birb. And that concludes this lesson on the rights of business owners versus the rights of government employees when it comes to serving gay people. Like I said before, gay people are not oppressed. There is no systemic suppression that is keeping you from expressing yourselves. You have anti-discrimination laws that put you higher up than the rest. SpaceGuru5. Can we just appreciate the fact that Tom didn’t even look at the map to show off that some states as shown in gray don’t even have discrimination laws at all in favor for the LGBT people? Or at least I’m assuming that it is, seeing that there is no key to tell you which color is which and what it means. Maybe a Google image search can help me out here. (Two whip crack sounds play, displaying the map in question and its legend.) SpaceGuru5. So apparently, this is a map of LGBT and gender employment discrimination law in the US, where the states in grey have no laws to protect any of those people. Huh, you’d think he’d have actually looked at his sources before using them. Smartass Birb. You have yearly (I think it’s yearly) Gay Pride parades. You have Ellen De-Fucking-Generes, one of the biggest celebrities in America, an open lesbian whose talk show’s been running for fourteen years. SpaceGuru5. Just because there have been advances in gay rights and there are gay celebrities in American media doesn’t mean that gays aren’t oppressed anymore. Like I said before, there are still plenty of hurdles that must be jumped over before gays can be truly considered equal to straights in the eyes of the law. Let’s also not forget that court decisions can be overruled at any time within the Legislative and Judicial Branches of Government, so we can’t even be completely 100% certain that these advances will be permanent. There’s the possibility that some group of homophobic people could end up lobbying Congress to repeal those laws. Don’t be myopic about shit like this just because you’ve succumbed to confirmation bias. I also have to point this out. Did you guys notice that he wasn’t too sure about Gay Pride parades being annual? Smartass Birb. You have yearly (I think it’s yearly) Gay Pride parades. SpaceGuru5. Despite the fact that they are annual, this just proves how haphazard this whole thing is, and it shows that he was too lazy to go back and do some extra research on what he was talking about before talking about it. It almost feels like he just did this out of a whim or on a dare, rather than to contribute to serious discourse. How very discursive of you, Tom. Smartass Birb. By the way, according to social justice warriors... (A record scratch is heard. The video is paused.) SpaceGuru5. Why are you talking about SJWs? This is supposed to be about how gays aren’t oppressed in America anymore. Why are you suddenly talking about how SJWs ruin everything? You know what? Just for that, I’m gonna skip ahead a bit. Fuck you. (Static.) Smartass Birb. You know, it took a white guy Shepard getting murdered for allegedly being gay to make these anti-discrimination laws. SpaceGuru5. And it only took one gay man ripping off everybody on GoFundMe and denying it to ruin another gay person's life. WHOOPS! (A slidewhistle plays as a picture spins around. The picture is of Tom from Tom & Jerry reviling at a picture of Smartass Birb on his computer screen.The so-called "whoops whistle" is an inside joke.) Smartass Birb. It took an elderly white woman to win a landmark Supreme Court decision States v. Windsor that made the federal government recognize married gay couples so that marriage benefits aren’t restricted to the state you were married in. And it took a white gay couple to win another landmark Supreme Court decision v. Hodges to finally make gay marriage legal nationwide once and for all. SpaceGuru5. Even though the Supreme Court can overrule those decisions at any point in time should they choose to or be lobbied enough to, but let’s just gloss over that for a second... Smartass Birb. These people want to demonize people like me for being white, and yet it was white people who gave the gay community, of all races, to marry and be free to express ourselves. Instead of making enemies within your own community, we should unite to fight the real enemy to gay rights: Political Islam, aka Sharia law, in the Middle East. SpaceGuru5. Yet again, Tom, you’re showing your Islamophobic bias. You know, I always thought that the real problem that causes all discrimination is the fact that humans, all personality aside, are inherently bigoted. I always thought that addressing that fact and doing something to counteract it would solve most or all discrimination problems as a whole. Oh, wait. Nope, gotta feed that self-serving bias against Muslims somehow. We gotta blame an entire religion just because some of its adherents marginalize people they don’t like. It’s not like the whole blame game caused most problems in history. Nah, we gotta keep this as “objective” as possible by proposing unfair generalizations about an entire religion just because I disagree with it. Hell, maybe I can pull a 180 and deny my bias by arguing semantics if people disagree with me and then trying to get my dissenters to debate me in a Discord server. In fact, while I’m at it, why don’t I whinge and whine about my critics to convince my friends on my Discord server to spam upvotes on my video to try and counteract the downvotes? That couldn’t possibly go wrong at all! Smartass Birb. I’m gay and I’m not oppressed. Not because I’m white, but because American citizens view being gay as normal as being straight. When people don’t care about your sexual orientation, it’s actually the best thing. The reason these perpetually offended special snowflakes keep screaming that gay people are still oppressed is because they want to remain special. They want the attention and recognition of being gay because they have no other defining personality, and the only way to do it is to keep being victims, and the only way to be victims is to create a boogeyman, that being American culture. SpaceGuru5. It’s statements like this that just exacerbate the problems gays face in American society. Telling a group of marginalized people that they’re not being oppressed and calling them “special snowflakes”—which is something the right often uses to generalize the left—just further exemplifies their oppression. That’s basically like doing the whole "stop hitting yourself" routine on a playground. Way to further dehumanize the cause of gay rights. You get a gold star. Also, didn’t you say earlier that you know quite a few gay friends who feared being chastised for being gay? Zed, roll the clip. Smartass Birb. I know a couple of friends who had difficulties coming out around parents who are religious as fuck. SpaceGuru5. Shouldn’t that in itself indicate that there’s still a general stigma against gay people in American society? But yes, oppression doesn’t exist in America anymore, despite all the news stories and all my personal friends telling me all their horrible experiences about people hating gay people. How fucking myopic can you possibly be? Smartass Birb. I’m gay and I’m not oppressed. Fuck your propaganda. This has been the Smartass Birb flying over idiocy. (A clip plays of Wile E. Coyote flying into a cliffside and falling.) SpaceGuru5. Of all the fucking metaphors that could perfectly sum up this entire video. In summation, this video was a misinformed and disorganized mess disguising itself as a mature addition to a serious discussion. All it did was prove why gay people are continuing to struggle to this day, and it doesn’t help at all to justify their cause. If anything, it only attempts to de-legitimize an important cause that should be fought for. That’s almost along the same level as just flat out saying that gay people just flat out don’t exist. Considering that you are a gay man yourself, Tom, you should know better about this kind of thing. However, your myopic and misguided bias has clouded your reasoning skills, and it only proves to me that you don’t have any fucking idea what you’re talking about. Do us all a favor and actually do your research before making another video like this. That way, you won’t end up misleading an impressionable audience with false information and blatant bigotry. As I’ve stated before, bigotry is the only real reason any kind of discrimination to begin with. We should teach people how to love, not how to hate. That’s just fucking wrong, man. I know I’ve been harsh in this commentary, but it’s only because I’m that passionate about social justice and egalitarianism.This was the quote Illiniguy34 used to accuse SpaceGuru5 of being an SJW. I want people to focus more on cooperation and reconciliation instead of reparation and discrimination. However, when you make something like this, that just breaks us up even more. Instead of focusing on coming together to reconcile our differences, you focus on instigating conflict and blaming the Muslims and SJWs for everything wrong with society. Instead of putting forth mature discourse about a very serious issue, you put forth a chaotic mess of nonsensical name calling that may as well have come from the average YouTube spam commenter. And instead of recognizing and admitting your own faults and trying to improve as a person, you get all defensive, and victimize yourself when people disagree with you, and rally up your cronies to try and fight your battles for you. How the fuck do you expect society to change for the better if you yourself don’t want to change for the better? I suggest you take a nice long look at yourself and ask: Is this really what I want to be? That’s about it for today, folks. I’m SpaceGuru5, and, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll see y’all later. Take care. (Outro sequence. The music is the ending of "O bone Jesu, miserere nobis," by Marco Antonio Ingegneri.) Notes Category:Transcripts